DIARY OF A DYING MAN

Sorry to sound so pessimistic. In fact I'm very buoyant about things, but the truth is that of course we're all dying, some faster and some slower than others. I have come to the view that it isn't so much the length of ones life that's so important, but rather the quality. In my own case I have had a wonderful life and I count my blessings every day.However, the enemy is taking over and my memory loss, now diagnosed as dementia has a 75% chance of becoming alzeimers. On a day to day basis my memory seems no worse, but a strange experience repeated itself for the third time this morning. I was coming back from my morning walk. It was a wonderful day here in Paarl and as Julian and I returned along a road lined with trees, the early morning sun shining through the trees I suddenly seemed to be lost. I didn't know where I was. Within seconds the reality of where I was registered, but I suppose that this kind of disorientation is one of the things that happens with dementia. Also, one gets blank spots. One day I looked at my diary where I write down everything that I have to do, or I will probably forget. I saw that I should have gone to the bank to sign something that morning and so I set off. It was afternoon and quite hot here, but the bank isn't far from where I live. When I arrived I went to my favourite clerk and explained why I was there. She looked at me puzzled. "But Mr. Barnato you came in this morning to do that." She said. It was this completely forgotten action that prompted me to go to my Quack. I explained that I had had several experiences of forgotten actions. After further consultation came the diagnosis of dementia. No cure, only possible delaying medicines. In addition the horrible possibility of alzeimers. So memory loss is not the only problem. Blank spots and disorientation and even worse may come with alzeimers disease. My Doctor's advice was to keep healthy through good diet and exercise and also to keep mentally active. This includes reading and in my case writing. I am determined to go on as long as possible. To end on a humorous note, my child bride Julian [she's actually 48, but that's much younger than me] laughed at me the other morning when I pt my underpants on the wrong way round. I don't know why it was so funny. When I was about thirty I once got up in a hurry and discovered later in the day that I had put on odd shoes. One brown and one black. Actually I thought that it could become a fashion style! David Barnato.