ALZHEIMERS. SHOULD YOU PUT MUM IN A CARE HOME?

Alzheimers has always existed. However, there are differences between life today and hundreds of years ago.
Perhaps the first major difference is that so many women work and the family unit is dependent on their income. This presents a big difficulty if a parent suffers from dementia or alzheimers. Wealthy career ladies often solve the problem with live in carers, at least during the day. However families with more modest incomes sometimes have to consider a care home.
Even in those families where someone has been able to act as carer because they themselves are already retired, the day may come in the latter stage of alzheimers where managing the parent becomes impossible.This is where heart braking decisions have to be made, but sometimes placing a parent in care is the only option.
Of course keeping an alzheimer parent at home is always the best option where possible and by getting  help and using day care centres for the elderly many loving children are able to keep their parent at home for many years. This is made more possible if other family members give the main carer regular breaks. No one can keep their health and sanity by being the only carer of an alzheimers sufferer for many years.
As the illness progresses there will be changes in communication and behaviour. There will be trouble remembering words, confusion and probably temper outbursts. Love, touching, talking and suitable music will delay the final stages of alzheimers, but the difficulties and stress faced by the carer will grow.
So for most people the day will come when moving mum or dad into a care home will become inevitable.
One of the biggest problems in this choice is the guilt that the carer feels. Other family members must be involved in the decision and understand why the decision has to be made and give their full support and understanding. If possible the parent should be consulted and included in the plans. But if the decision has to be made, it has to be made and the carer must consciously reject the guilt feelings.
The first step though is to chose a care home. Great care must be taken over this and exhaustive enquiries carried out. Ideally, speaking to other families with a member in the care home will prove assurance that the home is a good and caring one and not just a money machine.
Apart from talking to the staff at the home check for cleanliness. If that is lacking, look elsewhere. Also ask about the ratio of staff to patients by day and night. The acceptable level is five to one by day and nine to one by night.
To help the relocated parent and also the carer regular visits to the care home should be made. Touching and talking gently and suitable music will probably enable a kind of communication to take place. Remember, that the person is still there inside, they just can't remember things very well. Love is the main thing that can make the final months possible and love will keep the memory alive when the beloved one has gone.
.