DEMENTIA AND DEPRESSION

For much of my life I suffered from intermittent depression, but by the age of fifty when I had mellowed a bit, I had discovered that I could very largely control my depression by meditation and positive thinking. The only exception was perhaps twice a year when I would be almost drowning in despair. Winston Churchill suffered in a similar way and he called them; 'The Black Dog Days.'
However, from my fifties onwards I had my depression completely under control until I was diagnosed with dementia and as I struggled to wrestle with this new reality I found my old depressive moods coming back. I realized that I had had dementia for almost ten years and I pondered why I hadn't suffered from acute depression during that period.
The reason of course was that I had learned to live comfortably with a very slow memory loss progression and cognitive deterioration. Now however the harsh reality had been revealed. I had dementia which from the symptoms was probably Alzheimer's working away to destroy my memory. There was no known cure and if I lived long enough I would become an old vegetable until the brain deteriorated to the point where it no longer sent the message to the lungs to breathe and thus I would die.
I remember thinking about this steadily deteriorating reality of memory loss and worse and the bleak future that lay ahead. Then I thought 'Well I'm 70 already, so perhaps I'll die before the worst happens.' I laughed to myself and it ran through my mind that one could say 'I'll outlive Alzheimer's'
It was strange that from that moment my despair vanished as I counted my blessings. I had had such a full life, doing many things and living on several continents and ending in my beloved South Africa. I looked back to my idyllic childhood growing up on The Isle of Wight, a small island off the south coast of England. I remembered fun times living in the Scottish Highlands when I first started writing seriously. I thought of France and the beautiful chateau that we rented for two years .Every where we lived we had our beloved dogs with us. So lucky. The farm in South Africa and the sad death of my second wife Jan.
Although my finances had declined, it was at this time that I began to write seriously and I have since discovered great joy with this activity, although as most writers will agree, not much money.
Perhaps my life has been particularly blessed, but I think that all of us have something to be grateful for every day. Even on the bleakest days.
Depression is a terribly destructive illness and I am convinced that it can both contribute to dementia and also encourage the 'enemy' on his merry way. Positive thinking is essential to fight both depression and dementia. If 'counting blessings' doesn't work then one should seek medical assistance, I am quite convinced that being happy has helped me in my fight against dementia and enabled me to still write, read and socialize.
So think happy. Let's count our blessings.
We are in winter now here and it is a very cold one, but most days are gloriously sunny and the temperatures soar from almost freezing first thing in the morning to comfortably warm by mid day.
Our parrot Bobby doesn't like the cold weather and we take him in at night and cover him well, but how he loves it when we wheel his cage into the sun.
The dogs are well, but not particularly happy to have been bathed. Let's hope that they don't soon roll
where a fox has left it's scent.
David Barnato. Paarl. South Africa.
barnatod@blogspot.com