SOMETIMES DEMENTIA HELPS YOU FIND YOUR TRUE SELF

Athough I am only at about level two of dementia and doing very well in fighting it, I still have odd lapses, which are a reminder that both the dementia patient and the caregiver have to be vigilant.
Quite apart from my dementia and possible Alzheimer's I have lots of other 'old mans ailments', tricky prostate,high cholesterol,high blood pressure etc.Consequently I have lots of tablets, some of which have to be taken at night and some in the morning. Someetimes I forget if I have taken the tablets or not and so we have a book and I have to tick when the tablets are taken.
This all seemed highly organized and foolproof, until the other morning when I took the evening tablets by mistake.Most of them don't really matter which time, except for one notable exception, -sleeping tablets.
Despite my age and 'infirmities' I am still driving and I worked in the morning as usual, but finished earlier than usual because I felt drowsey.  I don't remember what happened after that until I was awakened from my sleep by a loud banging on the car window. My eyelids felt as if they were glued together, but I managed to see a very frantic Julian peering at me and I was aware that I felt very cold. Apparently I had been asleep for over four hours and the family had been searching for me.So, from now on I have to be monitored when I take the tablets.
You might think that I feel very fed up with my disabilities, but apart from when I first learned that I had dementia, I have accepted it very well and in fact learned a great deal, not only about dementia, but also about myself.
The first change has been that because of small difficulties in tripping and stumbling I have had to slow down. This has actually been very good for me because I have learned to live for the moment. To live each day completely and to squeeze every last moment of joy and happiness from every day. I have discovered that there really is no rush in my life and that I have lots of time for quiete moments. My cell phone is hardly used at all, as I enjoy face to face conversation far more and I have been lucky enough to not have to worry about business anymore. My life is quietly filled with writing, walking and reading.
One of the most interesting books that I have read for some time is; 'You Say Goodbye and We Say Hello', by Tom and Karen Brenner. This is a great book about the Montessori Method of dealing with dementia patients. It shows how patients can often be reached by getting to know more about them and involving them in different activities. Finding out a person's past can be incredibly beneficial in bringing good memories back and some moments of joy into someone's life.
The curious thing about dementia is that at the early stages such as my own one can still live happily with the right mental attitude and the right support .One must start by rejecting negative attitudes and dwelling on a negative future. Take it one day at a time and enjoy one day at a time.
In the latter stages much will depend on the caregivers in ones life. Fortunately, institutional care is improving fast and the modern way of helping dementia and Alzheimer's patients is spreading rapidly.
If you are fortunate enough to have a loving caregiver as I have, then you can plan together what will happen if the disease progresses and how you will deal with the changed situations.
For your caregiver the task of accepting that a loved one has changed can be a tough one and the real test of love. It will be difficult if the loved one seems to forget who you are and you will need to be prepared to learn to push your own feelings aside and accept the challenge. Your own happiness may well come from your own deep knowledge that you truly love your patient. With your love and support the loved one may well feel happier without all the usual pressures of life. As always in life, there may well be something good come out of something bad.
David Barnato.
Paarl. South Africa.
barnatod@blogspot.com