THE TWILIGHT OF MY DEMENTIA

After struggling with dementia for over ten years and successfully slowing down the advance of the enemy, I became aware today of further noticeable deterioration, and so I realize that I am moving into another stage. I now find myself forgetting if I have already said 'Good Morning', to the family and when they laugh and tell me that 'Yes, we have already greeted', I have no memory of the event. It is just a blank. Also, when I was using the treadmill yesterday I kept having time blanks. By this I mean that whereas usually I find using the treadmill incredibly boring and I laboriously count my way through 1000, yesterday I seemed to leap from 200 to 500 and 600 to 900. I had no recollection of going through the complete counting process. As there is also a clock on the machine which registers time and distance I know that I actually did the 1000 'treads', I just couldn't remember doing them all. Another example of incresed memory loss showed itself when Julian began talking about last Christmas and I had absolutely no recognition. So, it is clear to me that I am sadly moving into another stage of dementia and very possibly another step towards Alzheimer's. It feels like dusk is falling and that I am now living in the twilight of my life. Although I am sad about what is happening, I am pleased that I am still writing fluently and indeed, having just finished 'The Journey', a book of poems, I have already started on another novel. Although I am grateful to God for my many blessings, especially my lovely wife and caregiver Julian, I feel as though I am now entering the last stages of a race to finish the three books that I have planned, before the 'enemy' robs me of my writing ability. However, I will not give in easily, I have already discovered that I can remember specific things if I concentrate. For example. if I am specific in my mind about where I put my memory stick, modem or car key, I will usually remember. If however I don't make that specific effort I will often forget. Despite the sad deterioration I remain actually very happy and absorbed in both my writing and reading. I am very conscious of my blessings and trying to advise and encourage others in my predicament. We have had some glorious weather, but today we have some light rain which is quite useful for the garden.Very high temperatures yesterday of over 35%, very much like Christmas here. Yesterday I had to top up the swimming pool and annoyingly I forgot to switch off and so we had a bit of a flood at that end of the garden. Boysie thought that it was great fun and he and Polly not only paddled, but rolled in the mud as well. As I write, Bobbie is calling for his breakfast, which is a piece of apple, so I must finish. David Barnato. Paarl. South Africa.