ALZHEIMERS AND LOVE

Yesterday my wife Julian, daughter Ing and myself went for a one day seminar on memory loss alzheimers and dementia. The event was held by Livewell Suites, Somerset West, South Africa. No doubt the event was sponsored by Livewell to publicize their wonderful care home. However, the speakers were marvelous and some even brought over from the UK and the whole event helped so much to clarify many aspects of alzheimers and dementia for both early sufferers like myself and carers like Julian. At a guess I would think that the people attending were roughly 50% of each. Like myself, those already suffering from the early stages of dementia and alzheimers were perfectly able to converse and ask questions and understand much of the uplifting information that we were given.I think that many of us, whilst still apprehensive about what was to come over the years were very reassured and uplifted by the hope offered by the speakers. This also applied to carers. Although the workload and stress of looking after dementia and alzheimers patients will usually only increase over the years, there is plenty of advice available and efforts to find ways to at least stop the disease from getting worse are taking place in many parts of the world. The figures are truly daunting. 70 million people in the world now have alzheimers. It was a most encouraging day with many aspects of the problems facing us talked about in a very natural and uplifting way. The first subject was sexuality which gave everyone a bit of a jolt. It was explained that everyone has the right to express their sexuality, subject of course to the usual courtesies. Sometimes alzheimers sufferers will hug someone or hold in an inappropriate way. It was explained that this is very often a need for affection.But most alzheimers and dementia sufferers do in fact still have sexual needs. In the early stages of alzheimers or dementia this is not a problem if there is a willing partner. Later on it may become a difficult problem for the partner, but it is best at that point to seek advice.If there is no partner then to relieve sexual tension exercise or some energetic activity will help. Advice for alzheimers carers and sufferers is quite widely available on the internet, but one speaker called Jackie Pool is widely recognized as a specialist in the field of caring. She has written a number of widely recognized books and details can be found on www.dementia-champion.org or www.jackie pool association.org. There were several speakers and the message was one of hope. Many countries are now taking the problems of alzheimers and dementia very seriously and much more research is being done to see if even a way of stopping further deterioration can be found. The overriding message was that alzheimer patients need treating lovingly and seriously. Those images that we have all seen of groups of old people sitting helplessly and hopelessly and ignored are a sad indictment on previous lack of knowledge. A wonderful dvd was shown of an old lady in her 90s who appeared to be asleep. The fantastic carer approached her and knelt beside her and began to stroke her face. The lady's eyes didn't open, but she did respond by tapping the carers arm. Then the carer began to sing a well known hymn and the lady began to beat time with the tune. Then the carer asked if she knew the words and after a struggle she sang a few. Then she opened her eyes and she joined in the singing and was obviously completely aware of everything and even began to laugh. The point is of course that patients need a lot of attention and that magic ingredient-love. For carers this means that looking after an alzheimers patient is a full time job.For those with careers to follow the options are to engage a full time nurse to live in or place the patient in a care home. When I was first told that I had dementia I was devastated, but quickly came to terms and began to plan how to make life bearable for as long as possible.However, the thought of ending in a care home was the most daunting. After seeing the wonderful care centre in Somerset West I can say that care of that quality would be fine.However, the cost is prohibitive. My conclusion was that when an alzheimers patient goes into care the family must visit regularly and monitor that the care is satisfactory. There are many other things that I learned which I will talk about in my next blog. The main thing for everyone is that there is a lot of hope. Meditation and prayer will help. The many advisers on line and elsewhere will also help. My own situation gets a little worse. I struggle now with remembering the oddest word, but usually after a lot of effort I can recall. The worst problem though is remembering casual acquaintanes. Several people have mentioned to Julian that I ignored them in the street. This is a dificult one, but things could be much worse. The weather is still nice here in Paarl and Boysie had a good excuse for swimming today when his sister Polly slipped into the pool. Boysie dived straight in just as he does when we play ball and took her by the scruff of her neck to the shallow end. Bobby the parrot said hello to me today so there may be some hope there! Bye for now. David Barnato. Paarl, South Africa