DEMENTIA AND JOY

The first feelings when a diagnosis of dementia is given are shock at the sort of level of a thunderbolt. Although you went to the doctor about your memory loss, you didn't really expect to be told that it was serious.
In my own case I had visited doctors several times over the past twenty years about my short term memory difficulties and each time been tested for Alzheimer's disease and re-assured that the memory problem was just usual for my age.I now know that dementia has been with me for almost twenty years and my brain very, very slowly eroded away.
After the shock of revelation, I felt a feeling of incredulity. This couldn't be happening to me and what did did really mean?
It meant of course that the dementia was only the symptom of something worse and that 'something' had an 80% chance of being Alzeimer's disease. Not only is there no cure, but at the present there is no certain way of establishing that it is in fact Alzeimer's. Apparently a blood test may be available by the end of 2014.
However, the alternative possibilities are just about as bad,-Parkinson's disease for example or other dreadfully destructive diseases.
One's feelings at this time include despair at the inevitability of the outcome, a feeling of deep regret that your independence will eventually vanish and one will be dependent on others. Such feelings of helplessness are sad indeed.
Later, as the months of learning about my illness passed, I began to feel optimistic. The improved diet, exercise etc., were undoubtedly helping and it seemed as if I had halted the advance, but although I had slowed it down,but  in fact the stealthy advance continued. The disease slithers on furtively and secretly, until suddenly the truth dawns and the denial is shattered.
Then comes the second wave of despair, but for me this was the deciding moment. Did I give into the hopelessness and allow myself to be drawn out by a tide of self pity until I disappeared into the dark depths below, or did I fight.?
Fortunately my true nature re-asserted itself and like a light the truth revealed itself. Although the end of Alzheimer's might be bleak, with the wonderful support that I had from my wife and friends the road ahead would not be so dreadful. We all understood from our research that if treated correctly Alzheimer's patients can function quite happily for quite a long time and in fact as much as twenty years.New caring methods shelter the victims from their short term memory loss and unlike methods of the past, the patient is not corrected over his, or her memory errors. Being seventy two already, that felt quite reasonable.
So, over the months I worked in the mornings writing my new book and I was delighted that for the present at least I can still write. Sometimes words elude me, but I usually get them back one way or another.
My new life has enabled me to look at my whole life. Not only am I blessed now in so many ways, but my whole life has been a blessed journey. There have of course been dark valleys to travel through, but there was always sunshine at the other end!
My joy knows no bounds.
David Barnato.
Paarl. South Africa.
barnatod@blogspot.com