DEMENTIA. TO BE A CAREGIVER YOU MUST ACT LIKE A POLITICIAN

Being a dementia or Alzheimer disease caregiver is probably the hardest job on the planet. From the beginning you know that it will only get harder, and it does.

The 'job` requires love for humanity and love for the victim of this cruel disease. The love part is something very difficult and if it isn't there naturally, then frankly it has to be acquired, or you won't be able to do the job.

When you become a caregiver of mum or dad, or even a stranger you are taking on an enormous responsibility. A 'job' that will drain you of emotion and even damage you financially, if the time comes for mum or dad to go into a care home, because the medical care needed exceeds that which is available at home.

However, there are bright moments. In fact in the early stages of dementia, before Alzheimers takes over there will be many bright moments. Humour is the first quality that you will need and the second is knowledge. You will need to understand how to enter 'Alzheimer's World.'. There you will learn how to understand how terrible it must be to forget consistently. To forget what you just said. To forget when you last ate and to forget the answers to the questions that you endlessly ask, because you forget.

It will take an acquired skill to learn how to deflect questions like politicians do. They never answer 'yes' or 'no.' They side step answering and this is what you have to do as well. You answer a question with a deflective question. You always remember to smile and speak quietly, slowly and briefly. You never argue and you try very hard to hide your exasperation!

Sometimes though, there will be bright moments. Sometimes the loved one will recognize you and for a moment possibly converse as they did before the illness took them. For a moment they will be as they once were and you will be filled with joy.

The autumn rain has come to Paarl. Welcome though it is to farmers and gardeners, I miss the sun already. I lived too many years under the grey skies of the UK!

We are all well, although the birds and dogs of the family are not so keen on the colder weather.My own dementia remains stable and the book is coming along splendidly.

Keep taking the tablets.

David Barnato.

Paarl South Africa.

barnatod@blogspot.com